Through the Looking-Glass, and What I Wish I Hadn't Found There.

For me, a long blogging drought can be attributed to one of two things.  Either I am wallowing in self-pity or pain (or both), or I am enjoying such an incredible improvement in health that I'm too busy enjoying life to slow down in front of a computer.  For most of the month of March, I am happy to say that my lack of blogging can be blamed on me just feeling too good!  I suppose maybe I was finally receiving the benefit promised by my surgeon or it might have been be that the weather was not too cold, not too hot, but just right.  Regardless of the reason, I have been able to accomplish more work on my house, than was completed in the 4 previous years. 

I've rebuilt my garden, demolished the old backyard shed, torn down and cleared a fence line, and even dug a 20 foot ditch in spite of the hard black Texas clay.  One day, during my ditch digging, I wondered why my wife was not still outside helping me.  At first I chalked it up to her just being lazy, but acknowledged that's not like her.  I suddenly realized that she's not being a bum, it's just that I finally physically outlasted her.  For the past five or six years, I was usually absolutely fatigued after only an hour of working, leaving her to complete whatever project we were working on.  But now, I had just worked an entire day in the yard and only stopped because there was no daylight left!


After completing these projects, often times during the week after work, I would sit down to my after-shower supper and realize that I was tired, but only physically; the sort of exhaustion that comes from a good day of work.  No pain, except from what I got from hard work.  Normal bowel movements.  A clear mind with which to plan my next landscaping project.  This is the way things are supposed to be.

Unfortunately, it is becoming increasingly clear to me that Life can't possibly allow someone to enjoy their existence peacefully.  A major stress event at work two weeks ago left me awake on the other side of the looking-glass, where comfort means pain and an abundance of energy is actually a tar pit of fatigue.  Projects that I had planned for my yard, now sit covered in a mix of dead leaves and new spring overgrowth.  I find that I can manage to water my garden, but then my aching joints and the sporadically growing pain in my side chase me indoors to bed.  With a month or two more to go before I can expect help from the helminthic therapy I received in February, I wish I could just wake up from this twisted dreamland.